Moms Talk: Dealing With a Mean Kid

When another child is mean to your kid, how do you cope?

Maybe some child you don't know grabs your kid's shovel at the park. Maybe a classmate at school calls her a name. Maybe your child comes home complaining of the same person always picking on him. If someone is mean to your child, it can be easy to want to summon the calvary to demand all wrongs be made right.

What do you do? Do you approach the other parent? If it occurs at school, should you approach the teacher or administrator first? Or do you just stay out of it? Do the ages of the children involved influence your choice? Let me know your thoughts!

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Melody C. April 02, 2012 at 03:32 PM
This is such a touchy subject these days. I am the mother of four children. I have sat back and watched this issue with my own children and those of my friends. My children have been on the receiving and giving side of this issue. Most recently one of my 1st grade twins treated a little girl in his class horribly. My response was to give him a consequence. He had to take his allowance that he had been saving for a toys r us visit and purchase the little girl a present. His twin brother would get to pourchase his own present and he would be forced to leave toys r us without anything for himself. He then wrote an apology letter, and would have to sit out of recess for a week. He would witness his friends having fun, but he would not be able to play with them. A single consequence is not sufficient these days. A daily reminder that the negative behavior he had towards another student (especially a girl) would not be tolerated. I can only hope that this would steer him away from this behavior in the future.
Catherine Myman-Kaplan April 02, 2012 at 07:32 PM
Hi Melody C.! I think it is great that you are helping your children to understand that certain behaviors are not tolerated in your family and that mean behaviors towards other children can hurt. Thank you for the ideas on how to cope with these types of behaviors and for taking the time to comment! :)Catherine


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