Everyone have a good ? I bet you’re excited to be able to go back to eating chocolate, drinking alcohol or whatever you attempted to give up for Lent this year.
I’ve tried a couple times to give up something for Lent; last year it was beer. I actually completed that one but picked up a Maker’s Mark on the rocks habit instead, so I’m not sure how valuable it was. Fewer calories—that’s what I told myself. I’m sure Jesus was very proud of me and the sacrifices I made (before I get angry e-mails about that, please note the sarcasm).
This year was the first time in my 26 years that I didn’t spend Easter with my parents and sister. I headed to Arizona to be with my girlfriend’s family as she played the “I spent last Easter with your family” card. There was one more reason we decided to spend this Easter in Arizona as well: Her close family friends were renewing their vows for their 35th wedding anniversary. They decided to throw a huge party and have one of my favorite party themes ever: White Trash Wedding.
A white-trash wedding in Phoenix. Sounds like a regular wedding out there, right? My girlfriend is a stylist, so we go all out for things like this. So two days before we hit the road for the weekend, it was time to hit the on Sixth and Santa Monica and find ourselves some outfits.
My initial thought was to find myself some jean overalls. Paired with a cowboy hat and some boots, maybe a piece of straw hanging out of my mouth—easy white-trash starter kit, right?
I worked my way through rows and rows of old polo T-shirts, suit jackets and 1980s T-shirts with hilarious slogans on them. Perhaps more intriguing than digging your way through the random array of clothing in a Goodwill store is the people watching you’re able to do as you check out fellow shoppers.
We live in a very privileged area here in Santa Monica. Trust me, I do enough to know that this is one of the best areas in the country. You can’t help but feel like kind of a jerk when you’re roaming around a Goodwill store shopping for a theme party, while other customers are shopping there for their actual lives. It’s one of those slap-in-the-face moments that you’re life is pretty damn good, and you should maybe complain a little less.
I was scared that I’d reach for a piece of clothing at the same time someone else was, and something like this would happen:
Me: “Excuse me, I think I saw this cut-sleeve dress shirt with the Pabst Blue Ribbon patch on it before you.”
Him: “Would you mind if I take it? I’m shopping for my son.”
Me: “Is he going to the same white-trash wedding party I am??”
Him: “No, he needs this for his regular life.”
Me: “If you punch me right now, I’d understand.”
Thankfully, nothing like that happened. I kept those thoughts to myself and continued my search for my white trash outfit.
The plan I went into our trip to Goodwill with was immediately thrown out the window when I came across these beautiful MC Hammer-type pants completely covered in American flags. No more overalls; it was time to build an outfit around these bad-boys.
After finding a jean jacket and cutting the sleeves off of it, a blue bandana and boots later I was ready to go.
The party was a blast—everyone is in a better mood at parties when they’re getting drunk in a character. I had a blast, a great (hungover) Easter the next day and a great weekend. But now it’s back to reality, catching up on work and e-mails and figuring out a way to be able to wear these amazing MC Hammer American flag pants on other occasions as well. Can’t wait for the Fourth of July!
